Here. Somewhat.

January has been a quiet month, I honestly think for the first time I have the Winter Blues. Freezing cold temps with no snow has seem to left everyone in a funk in the Kramer household. Being stuck inside with a 1 year old is way different than being stuck inside with just a husband, a cuddly dog, a good movie and a good nap. We are all going stir crazy I think. Good thing Raegan has daycare all week, otherwise I think she would be pretty darn miserable. Eric and I seem to be exhausted lately too. Like over the top, Saturday nights I fall sleep on the family room floor at 8 o’clock while sitting up trying to organize an arts and crafts bin. Yeah, I’m cool like that.

I have to admit, as much as I typically post all the smiley pictures of Raegan and tell the world how amazing she is, I’m not going to lie, parenting has become way harder after 1. Raegan’s really fussy lately, like a walking time bomb. One minute she’s walking around the house, talking, smiling, laughing. And then in the next breath she’s plopped down on the floor, head between legs, screaming. I think this is a foreshadowing of what is to come at 2 and 3 (I hear 3 is the new terrible twos, can’t wait!). I feel like we are all on edge all the time trying not to ignite the walking little bomb. It’s been rough. Not going to lie. I mean don’t get me wrong, we have some really great moments. Sunday was a good day for us, I let go of my never ending to-do list and just hung out all day and played, and the little missy was happy. But I just wish those days were the norm, not the exception. She’s also back in the “I only want mommy stage and if you pass me off to daddy or leave the room I will throw a huge headache causing fit”. No one wins in these moments. I get stressed out that I can’t do anything that I want to do, or need to do, Eric feels like crud because Raegan is beyond upset to be hanging out with dad. I can’t help but feel like we are doing something wrong to cause our baby girl to be acting like this. Am I not “present” enough around her so that is why she is craving so much of my attention? Does Eric not get enough 1-on-1 time with her? Are we giving her paci too much? Not enough? Is this all caused by the fact she won’t sleep past 4:30 in the morning anymore? My brain is fried trying to figure it out. She was like this back in November, I thought November was just a phase, but it’s back and bigger than ever. Someone please tell me I am not alone in this? For some reason I find comfort in knowing it’s just not us. I guess misery loves company. Ha!

Oh and let’s talk about the sleeping for a minute. From August through December our awesome sleeping baby went to not being an awesome sleeping baby. I blame those first few weeks of daycare, that is my story and I am sticking to it! January and some slight changes to Raegan’s schedule has now left us with a baby that doesn't get up between the hours of 1:30 and 3:00 am. Thank you Jesus! And for a good week Raegan slept blissfully from 7 pm to 5:45 am (she needs to be up at 6 during the week, so while 5:45 sounds awful to some, it is great to us!). Well now we get up… at 4:30, on the dot, every….single….day! It driving us all crazy.

Needless to say, I’m ranting. Don’t feel sorry for us, really, (ok maybe just a bit would be nice). I am not complaining about having a kid, or saying being a parent sucks. We’re all just in a funk in our house. And I think some sunshine and a bit warmer weather would help cure it. Or maybe a vacation. Or maybe some fairy dust to sprinkle onto a 1 year old who already clearly knows what she wants in life and will do anything she can to get her way. Anyone else have suggestions? Retail therapy hasn't worked yet.