I Got This

The other day I held open the door for a woman carrying an infant in a carrier car seat, she thanked me and said she should have done it for me as my hands were even more full. Yes I was too carrying Weston in his car seat and Raegan was half way across Panera saying on repeat that she wanted to pick her cookie. And in that moment I realized, I got this. I finally feel like we got two kiddos down. I’m not anxious in public that we are going to make a scene, I don’t secretively panic every time Eric says he needs to leave for football, I know when Weston is going to want to eat and I know the best times to run errands to get a sleeping infant and a happy toddler. I FINALLY feel like I’m not walking on egg shells in hopes that will help keep my kids well behaved in the eye of strangers. Because frankly tantrums will happen and of course those whiney screams will wake up the baby and then all eyes will be on you. But hey, I’ve got this. 

Our home just feels more calm these past few weeks. More of the house is finally getting touched, I hung family photos up, Wetson’s room got the banner up I had made over a month ago. I’m working, working out, raising babies and trying to find time for my husband (although I still fail here most days, sorry babe I’m working on it) I say all of this because it feels awesome and when I look back to 4 months ago, to that first time Eric left me with two kids for three hours and I nearly cried before he even left the house, I’ve… we’ve…. Come a long way. 

The minute after I realized how much we have grown, was quickly followed with an “oh crap”. Next week is August, August means football, August means Friday nights solo, August means less daddy, August means Saturday mornings solo, August means cooking dinners solo with two most likely crying because they both need me for something. 

I got this.